by Kirk Cherry

Relationship with God seems like a basic concept. If we are Christians, we say of ourselves that we have a relationship with God. But I wonder if the word "relationship" takes on a more superficial sense when used in reference to the Creator rather than to a best friend or spouse. We might regard relationship with God more like a theological condition that is imputed to us rather than experienced. For example, at the moment of salvation, God ascribes Christ’s righteousness to the believer. He ascribes “relationship” as well. Then, for folks like me, there might develop a tendency to gloss over the potential for authentic intimacy with God. And in our thinking we move on to things we reckon as more important; things like service to God, loving our neighbors, God’s provision for our labor, and other certainly legitimate concerns. The "work" eclipses the relationship.

For example, imagine a married couple who remains faithful to each other but does not live together. They phone one another about budgets, tasks, and occasionally send gifts and letters, but they are not with one another. They have a relationship—but it is not everything it could be. They don’t enjoy the intimacy that presence with one another affords. This marriage is obviously not ideal. Marriage doesn’t create a condition called "relationship" that remains in effect like a contract, enabling couples to get on with the “real stuff” of marriage. Rather, at the core should be an intimate connection — knowing one another, times of being together, and enjoying one another’s company. Relationship should be a dynamic, growing thing.

I wonder if our relationship with God might be similar to this distant marriage. Our relationship with God is established, but it might be more disconnected than it needs to be. Perhaps we talk to Him occasionally about Kingdom tasks and present our various requests, but fail to avail ourselves of His presence and basic relationship with Him. We don’t know or enjoy Him the way we might a best friend.

How does one develop an intimate relationship with God? Prayer is either synonymous with communion with God or one component of it. How many of us, when talking with a close friend, limit ourselves to rattling off lists of requests or focus our conversations only on shared tasks? In good relationships, we probably spend time simply enjoying one another’s presence, becoming acquainted with one another’s interests and desires, listening, and developing an understanding of one another’s hearts. As we spend this time in directed prayer, perhaps it would work best if we look to the health of the relationship first, spending time with Him in ways like I’ve listed above; getting to know His heart as He shares about Himself in Scripture, about what He values, and what He thinks about us individually. As He works during those times to re-craft His image on our hearts and minds, our requests will probably match His desires to an ever-increasing degree. And introducing our neighbors to Him will probably begin to look more like inviting them to meet someone we know.

Aspects about our Creator lie beyond our comprehension; the greatness of our God is impossible to grasp. Our mortal lives in some sense mean absence from the Lord. Yet Immanuel wants to dwell with us. “He would rather die than live without us,” Michael Card said once in a concert. We can overcome our inherited tendency to hide from God to some degree, and enjoy the answer to Jesus’ prayer that we would know Him and His Father.

Week 4: Reflections

1. Meditate on and interact with God about His names and attributes. His names are an extension of His character… Acquaint yourself with them as raw material for knowing Him.
2. Meditate on passages like Exodus 33:12-34:9, Jeremiah 9:23-24, Micah 6:8, where God explicitly describes Himself to us.
3. Peruse the beginning of chapter two of J. I. Packer’s Knowing God as a challenge to us to know God authentically. You can find the text here.
4. If you haven’t done so already, listen to Louie Giglio’s sermon entitled “And God Talked with Me,” available here. Specifically, look for the three purposes of prayer as he conceives of them, and the lessons about prayer he draws from the Sermon on the Mount.
5. If prayer times feel like ordering lunch at a restaurant… i.e. a mere list of requests, take some time to discipline yourself to interact with God in another way… perhaps start by telling Him how you feel, or tell Him something you appreciate about Him. Ask Him what He’s thinking about you.

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